The Americans have freedom, The Germans — beer and bacon, The French have haute couture, The English — the finest stadium.

But your average Ukrainian Excels at something else instead. He has a long and elastic Patience, like none you’ve seen.

Say those up top get a whim To slap a tax on trousers — The Ukrainian’s patience won’t snap, Pull it for three hundred years.

Or the gang leads him astray: Invites him to a bank — it’s a brothel. The Ukrainian will fetch his patience, Sigh — and step on the rake again…